It amazes me that men and women can marry, swap spit and have sex for years then end up disliking each other. What blows my mind even more is when two people decide they are no longer compatible; somehow it means they shouldn’t communicate. I think that is complete bullshit! If I can take a moment as a blogger to be all in my feelings, let me share how irritated I am right now.
It is approximately 11:45pm and my children who are nine and eleven years old just went to bed on a school night. They are heading to bed so late because they didn’t get home from spending the evening with their dad until 8:45pm. Although their bedtime is 9pm, they came home WITHOUT completing homework. Therefore, I had to assist them and be sure it was complete before bed. According to dad, he wasn’t aware of the assignments listed in their nightly agendas. Was he hoodwinked? I don’t know but the real problem is REALLY between him and me!
I know for a fact that he is not happy that I pursued what I felt like I rightfully deserved in a court of law. I’m sure he’s also not happy with the fact that that I don’t waiver; standing tall in the fact that I am backed by a court order. That however is neither here nor there when it comes to raising children which must be done together! When it comes to the welfare and happiness of our children, any personal feelings need to be sucked up and put aside! More often than not, the weight of the communication between the two of us is the burden of our children. This is ridiculous!
I shouldn’t have to get calls from my children sitting in the driveway asking me if I’m home. There have been times when I wasn’t home or had just began to soak in a hot tub of water only to have to jump out because NO communication was given on an approximate time of arrival. There have also been times when he showed up to get them from school. However, due to our lack of communication, he would arrive only to find out they had afterschool activities that he was unaware of. I refuse to place this blame on my children although I have held them responsible many times simply because it’s easier to blame ones that can’t really speak up for themselves. The fact that I even get frustrated with them when it is by no means their fault pisses me off! Tonight, they had to feel my frustration when a simple phone call could’ve cleared up any homework questions. Yes, at some point children have to take responsibility for some things but I find it strange that we want our children to do what we can’t even do as adults!
Although he and I may disagree about who is best capable of parenting in certain areas, what I KNOW we agree on is that we want the best for our children. This lack of communication between two grown ass adults is pathetic and is NOT in the best interest of our children. The lines of communication need to be open between us as parents and our children should not be used as two-way radios when we both have phones and fingers by which we dial. We both need to realize that there will be times when we must agree to disagree but we MUST communicate. Anyone who can’t accept this is just childish! This includes me.
I am Shemeka Michelle. I just blogged and exhaled because I can!