NGSC: Kenita StubbsThere’s nothing like a woman’s body! Curvaceous hips, breast and all; nothing is like it I’m sure! I guess that’s what has men so mesmerized. However, what is so appeasing about a flat chest, bony, bare vagina and no ass at all?? What’s so appealing about a child? Why would an innocent; far from mature and years away from puberty little girl turn a man on? A grown ass man at that!?! As many women as there are out here to fondle, please help me to understand why a child and certainly why ME?
Growing up, I always had close family friends and/or family members touch and do inappropriate things to me. These memories go as far back to when I was only six years old. I even remember the outfit I was wearing! They would hurt me over and over again but I was always made to forgive them. To this day, my family still treats one of them as if he never did anything wrong. I would never want to defame anyone’s character so I’ve kept a lot of details hidden. I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone although the vivid memories still hurt and haunt me.
Because of what I’ve been through, it’s hard for me to even hug my own father without questioning his intentions. Due to the things I’ve been through, I have a hard time trusting men around my children. My oldest daughter physically matured very early. She was often mistaken for being older which only made me more afraid. I would always question her; wondering if anyone had tried to touch her the wrong way. I guard my daughters from men in and outside of my family because of fear. I am always thinking “what if they want to do to them what was done to me?” I am constantly thinking “what if?”
Although I teach my children to never be afraid of telling me anything, I have this guard up that may never come down! I have these memories that may never be erased. I have internal pain that may never subside. I always have been and always will be over protective when it comes to my girls. I’m concerned about all of my children but I tend not to worry about my boys as much although men touch boys too! I’ll never stop being my kid’s protector. I’ll continue to stay guarded. I’ll also continue to watch a man’s eye to see where it lands; no matter whom he is! Call me crazy but these are just thoughts from a molested mind!