How do you end a relationship when you’re still in love? I have no idea but that’s where I find myself right now and I’m doing my best to figure it out. They say if you love something let it go and if it’s meant to be it’ll come back to you. Although I don’t like it, it’s actually true and necessary. However right now that feels like a crock of crap and if I could meet the smart ass that coined that phrase I’d slap the shit out of them!! I digress….. On paper my baby and I just don’t make sense; there’s a difference in age, social and financial status. However in my heart nothing has ever been so right. So why does it have to end? Because love is not self seeking and when you really love someone you have a genuine heart desire to see them grow just as much as they do.
Now I cannot tell a lie, this blog would be so much more fun to write if he had given me the ammunition to assassinate his character. Stepping aside would be so much easier to do if he was an asshole. The thought of moving on would be so much more exciting if I didn’t feel like the next man had really big shoes to fill. I have loved men in the past but I never knew love like this! He was definitely the sweetest thing I’ve ever known. Disclaimer: Don’t call, text or inbox me wondering what about you. Not YOU but HE… I’m sorry.
As a matter of fact he was so sweet that this blog is boring as hell. I’m a shit talker and I’m about to put MYSELF to sleep as I type and reminisce. This is unchartered territory for me. I have never had a relationship with someone end while I still actually like them, so I’m interested in seeing how this plays out. I’m proud of me and I feel like I’m FINALLY learning what love really is. Yeah I’m crying but I’m wearing my big girl panties while doing it. I get a lump in my throat when I talk about it but this too shall one day be a memory.
Everything happens for a reason. There’s an age old question that asks “is it better to have loved and lost or never to have loved at all?” I finally know the answer and I know that even with the pain I feel right now, I would do it all again! It was fantabulous! If you’re still awake and asking yourself how you made it to the end of this blog, just know that writing is my outlet. So let me close and keep it Naked by saying I love him, I miss him, he’ll always be my baby and I will NEVER EVER sing “Sweet Home Alabama”!!