Stepping Outside Your Box…To Be Happy

NGSC: Charissa Jones
When I was growing up I chose every guy I wanted. I only dated guys who were popular (If another girl didn’t want him at that moment…neither did I)!!!! He had to be athletic and not just a benchwarmer; I wanted the starting 5….wait that’s too naked but very true!!! He also had to love music and have fun (drinking, smoking, sexing….etc.) and could fight. I mean really whoop some ass!!! Just to name a few ingredients to mix myself up a perfect man!!! Back in the day without a care in the world; the only thing I had to be concerned about was me and My Girlz!!! It was all fun and games then.
Now that I am almost 40 with 12 yrs. wasted in one relationship, a failed marriage that didn’t even last 4 months and raising a little woman, it’s time for Charissa to step outside the box to be happy! I now know that what I was looking for in a man was definitely not what I needed in my life!  The time had come for me to first evaluate my past so I wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes.  One thing that stood out while I was evaluating my past is every guy had the same traits; fighting, being loud, aggressive and taking charge of any situation. They didn’t care who it was. It could be a brother, a friend, an enemy, a cousin; it didn’t matter. I would watch them show this same attitude to their mother, sister; aunt and I still didn’t view this type of behavior as disrespectful. I thought “as long as they respect me!” Yeah Right! There’s one saying that I’ve found to be very true; if he does it to his mama, he will definitely do it to you!!
Now I’m raising a little girl and cannot bear the thought of her being kicked, slapped, and choked, eyes blackened or hearing damaged in one ear. I refuse to let her experience any of the pain I have endured in my lifetime at the hands of another human being especially by someone who claims they love you! The only way I can do that is by changing the way I think. We as women sometime seem to attract the same wrong men in life and don’t understand why. Well I have figured it out; we cannot change men at all. The only thing we can do is change ourselves, know our worth and refuse to be treated less that the queens we were born to be.
I now realize the traits I wanted in a boy could not lead me to happiness and are not the traits I need in a man! Now that I have stepped outside my box, I’ve never experienced love like this before! Outside of my dad, it feels so good to be loved unconditionally by a man who genuinely wants to see me and my children happy. What I love the most is he is the exact opposite of everything I have EVER wanted in a guy. All I can say is there will be a lot more STEPPING OUTSIDE THE BOX!!!! IM READY…. ARE YOU????!!!!!  #Finallyhappy #Timeforchange #New Me