Sex before Love

NGSC: Charissa Jones
Let’s take a journey back down memory lane. Let’s sit and try to remember the very first time we had sex. I know for me it has not been that long ago since I lost my virginity. Ok, ok I was just playing!!! I actually was…Oh Lord my dad is going to kill me…14yrs old. I remember the reason I dropped my panties was not because he loved me or I loved him. It was because I was curious and of course you know the most popular saying “EVERYBODY’S DOING IT!!!” I think we continued to “do it” for a couple of more weeks until of course I was replaced with the next panty dropping chick. She probably dropped her panties a little bit quicker than me.
 You would think I learned my lesson!! Wrong!!! I can recall meeting my son’s father. Even though I THOUGHT I wanted to be with him, I really was just trying to get back at my virginity stealer and make him jealous and love me again. So I gave in!! However this time I felt the weirdest feeling I had ever felt in my life. I actually thought I was urinating on myself! I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, used it and went back to finish. Except once we started again I began to experience the same feeling, and urinating on myself. I was so embarrassed I just jumped up and ran in the bathroom so confused and wanting to talk to someone. I wouldn’t learn until I was in my late 20’s; many men later, that I was experiencing an orgasm. I was cumin all over the place, and on top of all that I was a squirter.
 Now it was on! Forget love, I want that feeling again. Especially now that I had been told I have the best sex in the world. Yes sir, it was definitely on. Forget trying to spend the rest of my life with you; Hell, I didn’t even want to spend the rest of the night! All I’m trying to do is have that feeling again and be reminded how my sex is the shit! I went from so-called relationship, to so-called relationship; having plenty of sex but no Love. One night stands were the best! Ok I only had 3 in my life but oh how I loved a one night stand LOL. I didn’t want or need your name, number, address or anything. I really could care less about you. I just wanted to have that feeling over and over.
 Sex had become so mundane that it wasn’t even exciting for me anymore. I would just lay there like Ms. Celie, just waiting for Mister to climb on top me and do his business. This would go on for years until the best thing that has ever happened to me actually happened. I EXPERIENCED LOVE BEFORE SEX!!! Now almost 40 years old, I can honestly say now I have it together in the bedroom. I respect myself enough to know when a man loves me for me and not just for my body. I didn’t have to waste all that time having sex to find love. I just had to be patient and wait because real love is more important than useless sex any day!! It’s much better to have love before sex than sex before love.