My Sex Addiction Doesn’t Define Me

shemekaMichelle2_6brownchickschicagonowimageBy Shemeka Michelle

This weekend I had the opportunity to see Zane’s new movie “Addicted.” I must say it was well put together and closely resembled the book which for me is always a plus. However, as the movie goers laughed and talked loudly to the screen as so many do especially during opening weekend, I couldn’t help but identify. Although Zoe is a fictional character, there is real pain associated with this type of behavior along with a sincere commitment to live differently.

Although I wouldn’t categorize my first sexual experience as traumatic, I WAS extremely young, it was at the hands of a female family member and the feeling she gave me was one that I began to crave from then on. Masturbating and play with other girls was my drug of choice until losing my virginity at 16. Since then I have had sex with a lot of men. I am not at all bragging about this fact but it’s a truth that I have chosen to be honest about instead of living in shame. I was never diagnosed with sex addiction but I remember chasing the high that I felt whenever I was with someone new. I remember craving the new personality, the new body and the difference my body would feel whenever there was a new sexual experience. I remember creating a list of men who were my desire then adding them to my other list of accomplished conquest. There were times that I had sex with more than one new man in a week; sometimes two in one night. 

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