~Shemeka Michelle
Recently on vacation I enjoyed friendly dance floor action with a white man. He was handsome, charismatic and he was on beat at least 3 out of a 4 count measure. He was cruising with family including his wife and I was with friends celebrating my recent birthday. Although he came across more interested than a man with a wife should, I never felt any intentional disrespect. His gestures and words were gentle and kind. Because I wasn’t looking for a hookup, he also felt safe. However, I felt as if others looked at our involvement quite differently.
I felt as if black men viewed me as a trader and white men viewed it as equal opportunity. Although these thoughts could’ve just been the mind games I played with myself, there was one white man in particular that made me extremely uncomfortable and those feelings validated. His gestures and even the way he framed his words made me feel like he saw me as nothing more than a fertile field nigger. It also caused me to give a side eye and much thought about the interracial relationship of a dear friend. She appears to be not much more than that to her current white love interest.
I hate when any woman settles into the number two position regardless of race. However I am really bothered by the fact that she is a black woman who is a white man’s SECOND choice. Although he takes her to dinner, gives her money and buys her nice things, he shares a home, other real estate and travels abroad with his white female companion of over ten years. As most men claim, he has no sexual contact with the white woman that he lives with. Perhaps this along with the money he spends on my friend (the black side chick) plays a part in making her feel special. She has openly stated that if a man approaches her and he’s not at least 35 and white his chances are already blown. This says to me that she’s so fed up with black men that she would rather be a white man’s whore.
Although I’m writing about an interracial relationship, please understand that this side chick phenomenon offends me in any race. I think it’s an insult for any man to send the message that a woman isn’t good enough to be either his number one or his one and only. I’m irritated even more by the amount of women who obviously don’t feel they are good enough to play different positions. Then there are also those women that trick themselves into believing that loving an unavailable man is similar to taking an entry level job……..if they work long and hard enough, there is always room for advancement.
After years of accusing black men of pursing white women as trophies, there is a group of black women that are starting to seek white men for the very same reasons. I’ve listened to my friend diminish her most recent black love interests to checks and baby sitters. While her conversations about her white love interest come across as if she now feels like she has arrived. I don’t doubt that there are some genuine feelings involved from both of them. However, Taylor Swift, Maroon 5, impeccable grammar and disdain for black men won’t cover the fact that she’s ONLY and has SETTLED for being the side chick. It also won’t change the fact that my opinion pegs her as nothing more than what I’ve previously stated.