Ladies, men absolutely hate when you constantly accuse them of things they aren’t doing! How do I know? Because we absolutely hate that shit too! Charissa Jones said it best; “the only thing worse than an insecure woman is an insecure ass man”! If I hear one more person throw around the term “I have trust issues”, I just may throw up! First of all, what is a trust issue? In my opinion it’s a lame, widely accepted excuse to be drama queens. If you’re a man with trust issues, you’re a damn drama QUEEN as well!
What people need to do is learn how to keep it naked. In my opinion people can’t trust other people because they can’t trust themselves! If you’re a lying wonder, you assume everyone will tell a big fat whopper with cheese! Trust issues are internal shortcomings that display outwardly. They are internal problems for which we mistakenly blame outside sources. It is easy to disagree with this statement especially if you’re comfortable pointing the finger. However, when you examine the “it’s not you it’s me” trust issue epidemic sweeping America you may understand and even support this theory.
Most of the time the “I have trust issues” statement comes from women so let’s examine the following scenario. Shana and Raul have been in a relationship for seven years. Shana knows for a fact that Raul has been and continues to be unfaithful despite her numerous requests for him to love only her. During year seven, she loses hope in Raul’s ability to commit so they go their separate ways. Shana then meets David. Although Shana and David have NO history, she enters this new relationship defensive and guarded. She constantly accuses David of being dishonest and she expresses to David that she has trust issues. Considering she and David have NO history, who exactly does she mistrust? It can’t be David because they have NO history. It also can’t be Raul because after seven years of cheating, she should have trusted him to be exactly who he showed her he was! I strongly believe that her mistrust lies within as there are several reasons that she doesn’t trust herself. First, she doesn’t trust herself to make a wise choice for a mate due to the nature of her last relationship. Secondly, she doesn’t trust herself to have standards, set boundaries and stick to them because she ALLOWED the last man to run all over her. Last but certainly not least, she doesn’t trust herself to have the ability to walk away from a destructive relationship because she continued to stay.
Of course there’s another scenario where the cheater constantly accuses the other person in the relationship of wrong doing. In this situation he/she doesn’t believe the other person is being faithful because he/she isn’t being faithful! Once again, the mistrust lies within. However, once again the trust issue is portrayed as someone else’s fault. Both of these and other instances are a result of people jumping in and out of relationships with no healing. This is completely irresponsible to say the least as hurt people….hurt people! When you step into a new relationship with open wounds, what could have potentially been your Promised Land turns into your new battleground. If you truly want to love like you’ve never been hurt then let go of the drama! Stop living in bondage, heal and remember that everyone is innocent until proven guilty NOT the other way around!
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