How To Spot a Cheater: Common Sense Rules for the OP (Other Person)!!!

Tonya Markette FaisonNG Guest Blogger: Tonya Markette Faison


My dirty lil’ secret is that I love reading “She’s a” I’ve probably read every single story; long, short, female, male (he’s a home wrecker too)!!
However, there should be some Common Sense Rules for the OP (Other Person)!

They are as follows……

1. If your man starts to stay out all night or gone for days at a time, ESPECIALLY if this is a new activity, He is up to something!  If he always claims to be with the guys or has a new found interest in his long lost cousins you have never met, he is definitely up to something. Drugs, drinking, women, gambling etc. they all go together!!

2. Guards the phone and you can’t look at it, use it, or ever…. I mean EVER touch it. He sleeps on top of the phone, takes the phone to the bathroom or turns the phone off only when you are around. Be especially aware if he has a new lock code if you knew the previous one or it had none.

3. Talks about the “new” girl at work, school, neighbor etc. He either hates her excessively (he thinks he’s trying to throw you off) or everything she does is wrong and she is not attractive to him AT ALL I mean “Yuck”! Conversely, he likes her just a little too much. She’s cute, you should wear your hair like hers, dress like her or everything she says is sooooo funny. She may be THAT friend that likes or laughs at everything he says. This one is catering to your man. Beware! She may also be the one that he is constantly bickering with. Some men love a challenge and being dominated. Whatever the feeling is, it’s way TOO much!

4. All of his new friends are women that you can’t be friends with. You are never invited to go out with or talk to these women and if you do, for some reason you feel like you just don’t fit in with them. They may isolate you from the group or make you feel uncomfortable. Trust your woman’s intuition (that infamous gut feeling). It’s usually right!

5. He accuses you of cheating when he KNOWS you’re not. You are home with the kids but can’t go get groceries if you aren’t back in 15 minutes. There are definitely NO date nights with the girls because they have all become whores. He watches your every move to see if you will slip up. This is usually because he hopes to make you the bad guy and ease his guilty conscious. Not all men want to be perceived as the bad guy even it they ARE doing wrong!

6. He becomes excessively critical of everything you do. Your cooking is not right, the kids are too noisy, and the house is not clean enough. Anything that made him happy before is just not right…. His favorite meal taste different or “this is not where I left my tools” (although they are in the same place). Usually this is a ploy to get out of the house to “clear his head”.

7. Last but not least social media is the devil! If he blocks you from his Facebook, Instagram and/or Twitter and so on, beware! HE IS HIDING SOMETHING OR SOMEONE!! If he makes a fake FB, IG or twitter account that you know nothing about definitely subterfuge! If he is using apps that you know nothing about like, What’s-app, Tango, Texting apps, Tinder, Kik, SnapChat, Meetup, Bump, Tweetbot, Foursquare, Path, even LinkedIn! They can all be used to hook up without the “residue” showing up on your phone bill. 

If only one of these happens in your relationship, it’s probably a coincidence. More than one get out your Spidey sense and start to sloth. Getting back your common sense with tools?? Well, that’s part two!

About Tonya: A mother, sister, daughter, friend and manager with a BSW and MPA, I am obviously a jack of all trades and a master of none. Trained in the social sciences, I consider myself an “issue fixer”.