Yes I, Shemeka Michelle said it and here’s why…
I was scrolling Facebook and came across a news posting of Dwayne Wade talking about the new child he fathered. It went on to say that he fathered this baby during a breakup with Union and that she is accepting of the situation.
I absolutely have no problem with that and wish them well. My problem came when my boyfriend made the statement “who cheats on Gabrielle Union?” My first comment to him was “who cheats on Shemeka Harris?” Those of you who know me personally know I went ALL THE WAY IN! The statement immediately took me back to my ex-husband telling me that he pulls chicks that could pull basketball players as if I couldn’t. My Ego; that nasty little monster, rose up with a vengeance. My ego wanted me to snap a sexy picture, post it and watch his head spin as the comments poured in. How dare anyone in my earshot make a statement that insinuates that a person deserves to be treated well just because of looks or the size of their bank account? People should be treated with respect regardless of who they are. No woman or man should settle for less. My pride; that foolish little devil was whispering to me “does he know who the hell you are? You have three kids and your body still bangs!” I felt challenged and there was no explaining for him. After a year and some change, I was giving him the one eyebrow raised and thinking “somebody done told you wrong”.
However, wisdom stepped in. Life has taught me that when people cheat, it rarely has anything to do with the other person’s physical appearance or social status. Cheating is usually based on the shortcomings of the cheater. If people began to look inward, a lot of relationship problems could be solved. In my opinion, how can anyone cheat on anybody that has been there for them during the hard times, loves them unconditionally and as we say in urban society hold it down? However it happens all the time because so many look for superficial methods to heal deep wounds. Sulking in someone else’s bed doesn’t remove the pain. More often than not, it only adds pain; especially as the person cheated on fights to deal with feelings of inadequacy.
Also, because I’m a Super Souler, I was able to recognize that the statement made by my sweetie, while it was a trigger, it showed me I have anger within. I know deep in my heart that I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I also know deep in my heart that I don’t have to prove anything to him. He loves me in all my craziness but most of all, I love me. I have to be confident within myself and know my own self-worth even when triggers arise. Life is a journey and like the lepers of the bible, as I go I’ll be healed. I recognized today that there’s a little I’m Rick James bitch living within me and I have to continue to work on becoming a better me.
To the person who has been cheated on, at the root of the problem it’s probably not you. To the person who cheats, dig deep, find the issue and confront it head on. To Gabrielle Union, if this blog ever finds you, hopefully you’ll understand the reason for the title. If you can’t understand it, reread the title again. Peace!