Don’t EVER Depend On a Man!!

Kenita StubbsNGSC: Kenita Stubb

There’s a cliché’ that says “everything that glitters is not gold”. I’ve heard women say that they want a rich man or how they would love to marry into money. Well there’s also a cliché that says be “careful what you ask for”.  Being kept comes with a price!

I’ve always been a self-sufficient woman. I worked and took care of my kids the old fashioned way. I’ve never looked for or expected to be in a relationship with a man that had so much to offer financially. Money has never moved me. Being able to have my bills paid on time, food on the table, a decent roof over me and my kid’s head and having everything they need is rich to me.  I fell in love with a man that some would call “well off”. I didn’t fall in love with what he had to offer….. I fell in love with the MAN. His personality, jokes, time spent, attention given, and the way he looked at me, made me feel like I was all he would ever need.

I married him with intentions of us spending the rest of our lives together. Needless to say my fairy tale did not have a “happily ever after” as I thought and believed it would.  I never expected that what we fought for would end and I did not plan to end up in a situation where I would end up totally dependent on him. My husband supported all of my dreams such as being a cosmetologist and a barber or anything I desired and I never HAD to work.

In 2008 I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease and spinal stenosis which is a chronic pain disorder. That led to many surgeries and tons of therapy nerve blocks and injections. Now that our marriage is ending, I still have to look to him for everything. Because of my disease I can’t work a regular 9-5 and anything I do is limited.

It was not in my plan to be kept and not have peace or contentment in my life. Women, no matter what he has or how many times he tells you he has your back or that you don’t have to work, always have a plan B, C, and D. Put yourself in a position to be self-sufficient just in case your relationship doesn’t work.  Be able to live and go on without his finances or his half of the bills. Depending on a man is the worst place to be in life; especially when he knows you need him. It’s a miserable place! Being kept comes with a price and the cost is your self-esteem, pride, and independence. Sometimes you’re forced to be in situations and positions that you never thought you would be in because of it. There is nothing like just being happy and at peace so never turn that in for a dollar and a dream. I just thought I would keep it naked about being kept!