Dear John: Letter to a Man

Every now and then you’ll come across a woman that seems like she’s connected to your soul. She will make you laugh, encourage you when you feel weak, push you to be the best you can be and the sex will be some of the best sex you’ve ever had. For some of you, this will happen only once in your lifetime.  In the beginning the relationship is exhilarating so you just go with the flow. Then you start to wonder if it’s too good to be true. Some times because of your own lack of self worth you begin to believe that it can’t be true at all and start to question everything that once was so amazing.

This woman is beautiful from the inside out. She’s experienced things in life that have shaped and formed her into the person that stands before you. If you’re lucky, this woman will love you with everything she has and be your biggest fan regardless of the status the world gives you. When you come across this woman, your job should be to love her right back, protect her from harm and provide an environment that will nourish her and allow her to flourish. When you do these things, she will continue to reciprocate thereby creating a continuous flow of love that benefits you both and everyone that comes in contact with this beautiful union.

Unfortunately men, there are times when you fail to provide an atmosphere for her to thrive. There are many reasons for which you instead create a polluted environment. Sometimes it’s your upbringing, lack of maturity or your own life experiences. Such factors may cause you to belittle her, call her out of her name and even seek to control her for your own gratification. Although you may have genuine feelings for this woman and proclaim that you love her, unless you tend to your garden, what you think are harmless plants are actually weeds that will seek to choke the very life from this lady flower. Sadly, for some women, they struggle to free themselves from this type of negativity and never grow to their full potential. They then become toxic only breeding more toxicity.

There is however another type of woman. This type of woman doesn’t seek to be a “ride or die chick”. This woman, because of the things she has already overcome, will have you to stop the car so she can get out! Initially she will display the love, patience and understanding that every relationship needs to flourish. But once she realizes that you lack the ability for whatever reason to return that love, she’ll make the difficult decision to cut her losses and move forward without you. Not because she thinks you’re a bad person but because she recognizes the good person she is. If she knows her value and understands her purpose in life, it will get to the point that your very presence disturbs her peace. She’ll want to stay in love with you but there will be a war within her that won’t allow her to rest until she makes the choice that will be conducive to her evolvement. She’ll realize that staying with you will only destroy her spirit.

Men, we’ve all been told that women have power. Many term it pussy power. However don’t underestimate your own power and the pivotal role you play in a woman’s life. You can unintentionally break her spirit or you can actively with consistency and intent seek to cleanse and sanctify her so that she’s presented without spot, wrinkle or blemish. When your identity is attached to materialism and other insignificant things, it makes it very hard for you to even know yourself let alone love yourself or anyone else. Remember, he that loves a woman loves himself.   


With Love, 

Shemeka Michelle shemekaMichelle2_6brownchickschicagonowimage