Dear Black Woman,
As an African American man, I have received a hefty dose of hatred and abuse from many MANY African American women my whole life! By abuse I mean SPIRITUAL & MENTAL. Yet and still I stay and deal with them. I’ve been programmed to think that if I can’t take the abuse, I’m not man enough for the job. I’ve been told that everything women say is right no matter if it’s actually wrong so just deal with it. I’ve watched as women play other good men as fools simply for caring about them. Many of us are made to believe that it’s the man’s fault for why women are the way they are. So, we have to be punished, broken down and rebuilt in the image of how women think we should be. Oh don’t be mistaken. Dating hasn’t even started yet!! This treatment is all before you grow up and get out of the house.
As African American men, we are trained from the womb that we are two strikes behind all other men. Truth be told, we are THREE strikes behind all other men because African American women are against us BEFORE we even go to plate. Little boys are told “you’re going to be just like your father and he ain’t shit. He’s never going to be shit but a bum, jail bird or dead and YOU’RE GOING TO BE JUST LIKE HIM”!! It’s funny, I’ve watched so many women be foolish and do foolish shit, that it makes me wonder what’s next. When a good woman has gone bad, she really hasn’t gone bad. She’s just realized freedom in her life. To her it feels bad but good at the same time. When a good man goes bad, it’s because he’s finally giving up hope and is set out for revenge and destruction.
I’ve really tried to be a good man out of respect and thinking I needed to be an example for all the women around me. The crazy thing is…..even THEY are scandalous women that I watch mentally abuse good men; seeking to make them weak! I believe that secretly, they would like nothing more than for me to deal with a woman that acts just like them. So I ask myself, “if that’s how African American women are, then why bother being good?” Shouldn’t vengeance be mine? Shouldn’t I just walk out the door? The problem is, just when I get to the door, I look back and it’s YOU who keeps me from the war outside. It’s a war when I step out that door. Every time you keep me from going out the door it gives me hope in you. My thoughts betray me by continually telling me that African American women are all the same. But still, I get to the door and turn around! Am I only fooling myself? I truly believe that a woman is a gift to man. I guess that’s why when I get to the door, I CAN’T WALK OUT! Men at war without you have lost hope…… hope for LOVE. I don’t want to be that man.
Sincerely,
Torn Black Man!
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