NGSC: Kenita Stubbs
On Wednesday December 30, 2015, Bill Cosby was faced with a felony charge of aggravated indecent assault. While forty-one percent of Americans said they were unsure if Cosby was guilty, I’m sure the other fifty-nine percent are wondering “WHY NOW?” Years later, why would the alleged victims take so long to speak out?
I would like to STRONGLY express that I do not desire to give my personal opinion or my thoughts concerning the allegations. I would like to express and share to the world MY answer to the dreaded question “WHY NOW?!”
I was not assaulted by a celebrity or even a stranger. For me, it was family members, men and a WOMAN that I considered to be family! The molestation started from a very small child until my early teenage years. I did not speedily rush and tell my parents. I felt afraid, guilty, and shameful. How could I destroy one big happy family? Although I didn’t feel as if my family would accuse me of being deceitful, I was afraid the truth would be more harmful than helpful. But, my silence led to more dirty actions! I didn’t keep silent so that I could continue to go through the disgust, but I knew lives and my family would be destroyed.
Aside from one friend of my family, I held on to my secrets of shame. But there was NO way I could hide that one dreadful day that I will remember like yesterday for the rest of my life….
I was only seconds from being penetrated. This grown man had just held me up in the air while he slid my blue and white polka dotted skirt with the matching briefs sewed into the skirt to the side and performed oral sex on me. I was only eight or nine at the time. Of Course I didn’t know what it was actually called at the time but I knew it wasn’t right! I remember feeling so gross and nasty. Had I not screamed for my life after being pinned down on his bed, he would have raped me! His sister heard my screaming and started banging on his door yelling out “what are you doing?”! I don’t remember how, but, that door opened and I ran out screaming for my mother.
How can I vividly remember the details from so long ago? Because, I’ll never forget that day! But of all the men that violated my innocence, he is the only one that was prosecuted and served a prison sentence. I was an adult and it had taken years of courage, strength, and me no longer being afraid before I was able to tell my family about all of the molestation I had endured throughout the years. Although I can relate to or understand why people ask the question “WHY NOW’, I will spend the rest of my life encouraging others to find the strength and courage to expose their predators. It’s never too late!
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