NG Social Contributor: Kenita Stubbs
They say real eyes recognize real lies. It has also been said that you should never do business or work for friends. I’ve heard that if you want to create an enemy, try living with a friend. I’ve always been able to see right through people whether they are my friends, family or just random strangers. I have been seeing a lot of major changes in a few of my friends lately. Not as much as an obviously big change, it’s just things that they think I’m not noticing. I ask myself will people ever really be honest, loyal, and real. I have questioned myself quite frequently wondering if I’m practicing what I preach. I was told yesterday that I was too soft, I really worry about what people think of me and that I was letting people run over me. Instantly my mind went to, “she must don’t know about me”. Then I did a self examination and realized I had been lenient in a lot of areas with my close friends. I have even suppressed feelings I strongly felt about certain issues. By suppressing those feelings, I caused self affliction upon myself because all I was doing was continuously thinking about what was bothering me. As a friend I know what I have to offer and bring to the table of any friendship. What I can’t bring is perfection because mistakes and misunderstandings happen but I am very perfect when it comes to fixing things I know about with people I care about. I found out lately that some friends just don’t have that same compassion or concern nor take issues that are serious as I do. I ask myself am I begging for friends. Am I being an ass kisser? Am I weak? In the past on the outside looking in, hell yes!! Just thinking about some things I have been quite passive about, I do fall into that category!
My eyes have not been fooling me when I’ve seen the real in people but I choose to close my eyes to things to save friendships. I had a long talk with myself last night and I have decided to operate in who and what I am. I will only accept what is fair in my life when it comes to friends and family. Maybe they will stick around, maybe they won’t but if it takes me being real to myself; standing up for what I believe in then oh well! Having friends can be fun and a good thing but also tiresome. You always have to make sure you say the right thing and may have friends talking behind your back rather than to you. They have everything in the world to say to everyone else about you, how you should do things and when u should do things. They have so many questions or concerns and are never honest to come to the source. Well after writing that, should they even be called friends? It was said that all friends talk about all friends behind their back. I’ve done it. Does it make it ok? Hell no! Friends should NOT talk about the next friend unless the friend that they are discussing is there to defend themselves. Some things about other people’s lives should not concern you unless you are in a position to help someone out of a situation. Otherwise it’s time to really mind your own damn business!
This brings me to the question of friends….how many of us have them? I’m not saying I should get the friend of the year award but I do know I don’t dish out the things I have gained from ladies that confessed to be a good friend of mine. I have prayed and asked GOD to show me who is for me and who isn’t and let’s just say I can now see the YOU in you! Sadly it won’t make or break me but it will definitely keep me from being the asshole that I have been for years. Although I would love to end up with the same friends I started out with, that just won’t be the case. I won’t create enemies or problems but I now know how to handle certain ones from this point on! That’s right I see the YOU in you and you are definitely not honest, loyal or real! I’m shocked but not surprised! I’ve written several blogs on this Naked Girlz site that have been completely ignored. I can’t wait to see how much time, attention, energy, questions and concerns this particular one will get! I’ll save everyone with questions some time by stating there is no need to text, call or question me about who I am referring to. If you really feel you are an HONEST, LOYAL, REAL friend that doesn’t talk behind my back (secretly hate but then smile in my face) then of course this won’t bother you. This will only anger the guilty but it doesn’t matter. I’ve already seen the YOU in you so I definitely know the outcome of this blog! I can’t be fake passive or a fool for a friend or anybody any more. If you are for me, cool. If not, then move because I can definitely see the YOU in you and sneaky does not look good on you!